This Is ME!

I’m an extravert, a people lover, I’m obsessed with relationships.  I love deeply and unrelentingly.  I’m fiercely loyal. I love anything that sparkles. I love music and dance.  I can’t draw or paint.  To decorate I need Pinterest. I’m scared to death of sharks.  (Like after I saw Jaws, I couldn’t get in the tub for a year.) Most people would say I’m pretty funny.  Probably came from watching too much I Love Lucy when I was a kid.

I would call myself a Power Mother.  Meaning Mothering has been my passion and the thing I’ve dedicated my life to.  That doesn’t mean I’m a perfect Mother. Just that my whole heart and soul is dedicated to it.  I didn’t have that personally.  My Mother was not there for me.  The suffering that came, because of not having my Mother dedicated to me, has been the driving force behind my love of being the best Mother I can be.

I would say that my passion now is helping other women move through transition and trauma in their lives.  To sum up the last 10 years…picture me looking heavenward and saying…REALLY????  I’ve done that many times.

I hope my experiences and insight help you in some way.  I hope I can be a safe place for you.  I hope my writing and videos make you laugh, cry, but mostly I hope to help you.  Helps you feel hope and empowered.

Love You!

Instead of worrying about who loves you…who accepts you…who you’re number one to…why didn’t they love you?  How about spending your time thinking about ways to love you.

Things to change in order to love yourself.  Habits to create to love you better.  Set up your life, thoughts, habits to love yourself better.  When you love you…those who should be in your life..will be.  Those that aren’t in your life…aren’t suppose to be.  Love yourself and just let things be as they are.  

When you love you…you’ll have that peace to accept things for what they are.  You’ll not feel the need to try to control situations and other people.  Let go of looking to others to fulfill your needs.  You will fill you up.  Then and only then, will everything flow.

Things I Didn't Know!

                                                

Personal hygiene and care has also reached a new level of intensity.  I had never heard of a woman shaving her pubic hair, much less having wax slabbed on her pubic region and ripped off.  I first became aware of this practice when my daughters informed me that it was “gross” to not participate in this new ritual.  At first blush, I was appalled and shocked to know that my children were actively shaving their pubic hair in the shower. After I recovered from the shock of this new information.  Having been informed that “everyone” does it.  I called my cousin, who is always ahead of me,  in all things hip and new.  She’s my age and I fully expected her to be as upset and shocked as I was.  After spewing out my story I waited, legs crossed sitting on the edge of my bed. There was silence on the other end of the phone, then she said…you don’t groom yourself down there?  I was horrified!!  What????? Am I suppose to be????? Well… she said… it is kinda gross not to.  Are you kidding me??? The shame started to set in.  How was it that I was so uninformed???  Why was I not told that this was expected now?? She continued the interrogation.  So, you just let it grow all natural down there?  Yes, I guess so.  I mean I do shave up upper thighs during the summer time.  Does that count?  I asked in a tentative voice.  Silence then a deep sigh.  If you don’t want to shave it,  at least trim it! She fired back.  TRIM IT????? How in the hell do I do that????  Do I grab the kitchen sheers and just start cutting away?  Do I work across or up and down?  What length is acceptable?  My mind was racing.  Then she carefully asked, she could tell this conversation was not going well.  So, your husband hasn’t ever said anything?  NO!  Now I was in a complete panic.  Had I unknowingly subjected him to a jungle safari everytime….Ok I can’t talk about this.  I’ll talk to you later I said.

I needed time to process this information.  

The next day I went to the local drug store in search of supplies to get myself “in shape”  I saw the Nair.  I thought, this seems easy enough.  Smear this stuff on and I’m clean as a whistle.  I went home,  applied it as directed.  Nothing!  I waited and waited.  Ok I’m gonna need to go in with a razor I thought.  I grabbed one I found in the shower.  I had a fleeting thought that the owner of the razor probably wouldn’t appreciate this.  But, I soldiered on.  No trimming for me I thought.  I’m going in hard on this!  I realized that shaving in that area is not as easy as one would think.  Especially when one can’t see the area very well because…you get the picture.  So I shaved….pretty much by “brail”.  There was blood at times and it was quite a project. In the end..I prevailed!  I stepped out of the shower proudly and cast my eyes toward my once unruly pubic area.  I gasped!  Who am I??? I didn’t know what to think.  I felt naked.  Weird.  But strangely free.  I walked around for days like I had a secret.  I heard the song “If you want my body and you think I’m sexy”  in the background of all I did for a few days.  I walked with a strut.  A new found confidence emerged.  I was no longer in the dark ages.  I was a progressive woman. 

Then, the itching started.  

Have You Lost Your Spark?

Let's get our spark back!!  How do you know you need to work on that spark?  Well, let's take an inventory of symptoms.  If you feel tired all the time.  If you aren't really excited about much anymore. If people always ask you if you're ok.  These are a few.  There are tons more, so you fill in the blanks.  

First, realizing that you need to work on it is key. I think finding something that excites you is the most important step to getting your spark back.  So start brainstorming what you love to do or what interests you.

Make a vision board.  This seems new, but it isn't.  I've been doing this for years.  I'm working on a new one now.  I'll post a picture when I'm done.  (Don't judge I'm not an artist.)

Find a new book that inspires you.  I'm reading Tools Of Titans The Tactics, Routines, and Habits of Billionaires, Icons, and World-Class Performers by Tim Ferris right now and it's awesome.  So many great ideas from successful people.

I think changing something about how you look is one of the best things you can do to boost your confidence.  A new hair cut or a makeup change or getting something new to wear helps tons.

 These expensive glasses I got for a bargain.  The new coat made me feel like a million bucks.  What can you do to give yourself a boost?

As always I would love to hear from you!  Follow me here on Blogger!  Tell me what you've done that has helped you get your spark back!!!

It All Starts In The Gym!

I have a confession to make ….. I watch the Kardashians! Ok, I said it…if you are terribly disappointed I’m sorry.  I don’t think they are great people,  I just enjoy watching these rich people live their lives.  It is fascinating to watch the businesses they’ve created because of their fame.

Anyway, Kloe has a new show called Revenge Body.  It is a really good show!  So inspiring!  One of the things that stuck with me from one of the episodes is how your emotional strength is connected to your physical strength.  I never thought about it that way.  She has many people on the show that are going through hard times and want to get in shape.  It’s impressive to see how all the hard work on their bodies really does change their attitude, confidence and strength emotionally.

Now, the improved attitude and confidence probably is a given.  However, I never considered how much emotional strength could be improved by improving your body.  GET EXCITED!!!

My son Mitch is a personal trainer.  He changed his life by changing his body.  He is a recovering addict.  If you could have seen him in the worst of his addiction, you wouldn't believe that this is him now.  He spent 3.5 years in prison.  He decided when he was sentenced to prison that he would make the experience work for him and not against him.  He worked out for hours everyday.  He was always in a small space (as you can imagine) He had no equipment, only his own body.  He made up workouts and did them constantly.  He dreamt of the day when he would become an MMA fighter.  He had an iron will and now is working on his dream.  He has won 3 fights and is an amazing young man.  

However, he doesn’t train me because he says I don’t do what he says!  I asked him for a plan and he gave me one to start with.  He wants me to walk 2 miles a day and NO Sugar and NO Pepsi (except once a week)  I’m committed!  I got up early and went to the gym.  It was frightening how 2 miles was hard!!!!

I did it!  I’m on a quest to strengthen myself physically, emotionally, spiritually, mentally.  Apparently it all starts in the gym or where ever you find yourself….let’s see!

                                    Him, not letting me buy chocolate!

Emotion is Created By Motion!

Emotion is created by motion is what Tony Robbins says.  Man I love that guy.  I would love to go to one of his seminars. But rest assured, when the Fire Walk starts, I would be running to the bathroom!

So this concept is so helpful when going through a hard time or when we are caught up in grief or confusion or just any crappy emotion.  (Sorry about the "crappy" couldn't think of another word.)

Think about how you hold your body when you're feeling sad.  Think about how you hold your body when you're happy.  The motion you create with your body really does affect your mood.

Try this.  Next time you're having a crying fit or just feeling down, get into motion.  I mean anything.  Go for a walk.  Go put some laundry in.  Do some dishes.  Put some music on and force some dance moves.  This works like magic.  When you want to change your mood, change your body, get into motion.

I'm amazed at how well this works.  It seem so simple.  In fact so simple, it doesn't seem like it would work...but it does.  

As always, please follow my blog and comment!  Tell me your experiences.  Oh, and that pic is me at 19 getting my grove on!  This picture was also the inspiration for The Aces music video for their song "Stuck".

Tomorrow will be a video.  Favorite cookbook day!

When You're In The Darkness....

So I write about consistency, and then I didn't blog yesterday!  I'm human and trying! My daughter Cristal is a great example of consistency!  She set her goal when she was 10 to be a star and she has never doubted or quit working on it.  This year is a huge year for her band!

I want Mamas On The Move to be about us moving forward in life no matter what's going on.  Let's face it, life is always changing and sometimes in ways we could have never anticipated.  I am personally going through probably the most challenging time of my life.  Blogging is helping me think about the things that are helping me and hopefully maybe something I share will help you.

I thought of this idea the other day.  "When you're in the darkness, wait...the light is coming." Jill Armstrong Ramirez

I've learned lately in Yoga about sitting with whatever feelings you have.  I personally want to hurry passed the grief part of any experience.  I'm sure we all do.  I've learned to trust that the light is coming.  I've tried to remember in my darkest hours that this is gonna get better.  Somehow it gives me hope.  When you feel so much despair or fear, it's easy to think it's never gonna get better.

Try to think of other times when you thought all was lost.  Remember how things worked out somehow.  I try to list all the good that can come from whatever I'm going through.  It sounds cheesy, but try it.  Tomorrow I'll write about what I do when I've had enough of sitting with the feelings...