You've heard the saying. Everyone is on their journey. Well, life has taken some twists and turns for me and I have been forced to reconcile myself to that! For many years I was so judgmental, always thinking I knew what was best for the whole human race. I set my life and family up expecting a certain outcome. Never did I expect that my whole plan would not be followed by a tribe of independent, strong- willed people. I believe that as a mother I tried to instill in my children self confidence. I did succeed in that department. However, I wanted to decided what direction that self confidence would take them. They all had other ideas. I have felt like a failure as a Mother because of things that have happened or just what is. I was holding everyone up to my standard of success. I can’t express the suffering I have been through because those that I love have set out on a different journey than what I wanted. I have cried and yelled and pretty much ruined my own life because of the control I wanted to have.
After some years of pain I started to feel a change start to happen within me. I knew there had to be a better way to live. Could I control what others were doing? Did I have the right to tell them how to live? Even though I gave birth to four of these people, did that give me the right to tell them how to live their lives? Slowly, and I mean s l o w l y. I have let go of my previous expectations. I am opening up and accepting what is…and I am fascinated by it. This isn’t the journey I chose or expected for sure. But the lessons and insight I have opened up to is amazing. What a difference in my happiness when I just accept and love everyone for who and what they are. I’ve let go of the control I wanted to have over others, and started to focus on my own life. I realized that I was holding my family up to a measuring stick that didn’t fit. I was using the wrong measuring stick. When I take that stick away and just look at them for who they are…they are amazing! Shift your paradigm and everything changes.
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